Bonding over video games

If you asked me if I would have spent an enormous amount of my time this spring and summer playing a game called Animal Crossing, I definitely wouldn’t have thought the answer would be yes.

But several months ago, my teen asked me if I wanted to play, and when I said yes, we proceeded to spend more time talking and having something in common to bond over then we have in a long time.

Animal Crossing

Photo of Nintendo Switch with Animal Crossing Game

Animal Crossing has a lot of fun ways that you can have special moments with folks. If you’re playing with people on a different island, you can go for visits and you can mail them presents. If you’re in the same family/playing on the same Nintendo Switch you can also send mail or do what I do and drop off gifts in front of the kids’ houses.

We’ve been able to plan out parts of the islands and figure out how to create hybrid flowers together, making for lots of opportunities for great conversations and time spent together.

It’s not really about the game

The thing is, the video game was the topic, but it’s really about meeting them where they’re at. We don’t have a lot we both want to do any more. Animal Crossing turned out to be a blessing because I really do enjoy the game. And since then I’ve been introduced to quite a few other games (most of which I am not particularly interested in ) and the kids get really invested in trying to show me how to play or being amused at just how many times I can NOT land that jump in Celeste or at how confused I am about what I’m supposed to be doing in Paper Mario or trying to get me to take on my Rhythm Heaven Fever challenges with them. ;)

It works beyond video games too

My husband has been watching a lot of anime with our teen lately on Crunchyroll (and Netflix has many of the Studio Ghibli films available). He enjoys Anime but hasn’t really spent time watching any since he was in his twenties. This gives them something that is for them and gives them a reason to hang out together.

I have another friend who chooses and watches a show regularly with their teen - it’s not always a show they particularly want to watch, but it’s really not about that, and we need to remember that when saying yay or nay.

Next time you see an opportunity to connect on something, even if it wouldn’t be YOUR choice of things, it may make for the perfect chance to bond with a kid who seems more inclined to hang out by themselves in their room than with you any more.

In case you’re here for the Animal Crossing part, I want to share a few of my tips for the game ;):

• There is a money rock on your island every day. Hit it with your shovel (not your axe) as fast as you can after creating a way to not bounce away (I dig holes or bounce against a flat surface) and you’ll get more bells (this works for getting more resources too - you can get up to eight).

• Save all the fish and bugs in your storage for the days that Flick and CJ come to buy them from you. You’ll get more bells that way.

• You can catch the wasps almost every time if you’re holding your net when you’re shaking a tree, facing the tree from the front and immediately turn in the directly the nest falls and swing. The wasps are worth at least 2500 bells so it’s worth it.

• There is at least one item hiding in a tree on your island every day, sometimes more. I like to shake the trees looking for items and wasps.

Technology and kids - what age is a cell phone appropriate? {Hot Topic}

With technology advancing at the amazing pace that it is, it seems like kids are getting technology younger and younger.  This made me curious about cell phones and what kind of practices parents put into place for cell phone usage and how old their kids were when they let them have cell phones.

I put the question out on Twitter and got a lot of really interesting feedback!

- Some parents let their toddlers play with their cell phones (I do) but mostly for the smart phone features or to talk to people I have phoned on their behalf.  Kids are clearly going to know what to do with a phone at a very young age.

- A fairly common age I heard for getting a cell was 12.  The rules that apply to this are that the phone is owned by the parent and can be monitored at any time.

- Many people require their children's phones to stay on the main floor at bedtime for charging, preventing them from all night texting habits (that definitely would have been me!)

- Some kids have regular phones, not smart, and also have iPods. I've heard of the internet being automated to turn off at 10 or 11 pm to prevent all night usage but still allowing kids to have music in their rooms.

I imagine that my kids will have phones (or whatever they are by then) relatively young.  I'll want to be able to get in touch with them once they're old enough to go out on their own.  I love the idea of spot checks and of them fully understanding that their parents have total rights into their technology. Fortunately I have a few years to figure this out since my oldest is only 5, but I feel like it's an interesting conversation to start having now anyways :)

What do you do? What do you think you'll do? Would love to get some discussion going!