Giving Back at the Holidays

by Krista As my family prepares for the holiday season, we have decided to once again make a concentrated effort on helping to support those in our community who are less fortunate, and want to involve the lils as much as possible.  We feel that it is important that they see us trying to help those who are less fortunate than we are, teaching them to be giving and empathetic.  We are very thankful for our happiness, health, and home, and we know that others are not as fortunate.  We want to show our children that we together can do something to help.  I remember doing that with my parents when I was young, and I hope my children will grow up to remember the same.

Here is a list of a few of the ideas that we have participated in the past, or investigated for this year.  Some represent a monetary donation, a donation of time, and some require both. Not all are applicable for families with young children, but I am going to try and get them involved in as many as possible! I’ve noted age limits or restrictions where I could, but it is always best to check with the recipient of your donation to see what age is appropriate for participation.  Some will encourage the participation of little ones, but others might require that they be excluded or take a limited role.

The Ottawa Foodbank is a local institution that helps to feed families in need, as well as supply food to shelters and other programs for their meals.  I am sure that you have seen the bins in many large grocery stores in the area.  This month, we will be targeting their “most needed list” with a donation each time we shop.  I also looked into whether we could volunteer in any capacity, but our children are too young.  If you do have children 6 or older, you can volunteer together to do things like work in the warehouse, do office work, or work at special events. The volunteer contact information is on their website.

The Christmas Exchange also seeks to provide assistance with feeding families in need, through the Christmas hamper and store vouchers programs.  When I was a child, we used to always do Christmas baking while listening to their Christmas Cheer radio-thon on CFRA.  This year’s Christmas Cheer broadcast was held on December 6^th  (and has always been one of my favourites), but they have many other opportunities and events for our family to get involved listed on their site.  While it is possible for children as young as five to volunteer, there are only volunteer activities for those eighteen and older listed on the volunteer page. Contacting them directly may yield more opportunities for younger children.

The Shepherds of Good Hope as well as some local churches and houses of worship (many of Ottawa’s houses of worship are listed here) also have programs where you can “adopt” a family, and build a hamper containing food for Christmas dinner, essential goods and small gifts. You can see if your family can help to build a hamper by purchasing the items they need, pack hampers and wrap gifts, or deliver hampers right before Christmas.  The Shepherds of Good Hope has expressed that they are in great need of people to sponsor families, having had many more requests this year than they would normally fill.  When you call, you can be matched to a family that is in great need, but that meets your wishes (ie size or location).  You then contact the family representative and discuss what their needs AND wishes are.  There are opportunities for younger children to help out in all aspects of this process, but some tasks may be more suitable than others, so please remember to let whichever organization you help out with know that the ages of your children so that you can ensure they will help out when they are volunteering.

Many local elementary, middle, and high schools, churches, and community associations also get involved with food drives, charitable fundraisers like bake sales and holiday meals.  These drives and events provide a great opportunity to talk about those less fortunate, and why you support the activities.  You can help out by volunteering with your child in preparation for the event, gathering donations, baking, cooking, or helping out at the event.  School, church, and community run events generally offer great opportunities for children of ALL ages to help out. Please check with your local school, community association, of church to see what they have planned.

There are a few institutions in Ottawa that host holiday meals in the days leading up to Christmas, starting as early as this weekend! The Mission is one that holds the meal in advance of Christmas December 16^th for this year’s meal. This presents an opportunity for those looking to volunteer, but not on Christmas day.  In addition to using volunteers on that day, they have an ongoing need throughout the month.  Youths aged fourteen and up are eligible to help out with their parents at the Mission or their events.  If your children are too young, they may still have a need for prepared foods, that you can make together.  My lils and I are baking cupcakes through Cupcakes 4 Christmas again this year, our contribution to the dessert at this meal.  Please contact either of these organizations directly to see if they have further need.

A number of local restaurants and houses of worship also hold free meals for those less fortunate on Christmas day.  The Newport Restaurant in Westboro is one such establishment.  They have been hosting a Christmas meal for as long as I can remember and accept all sorts of food donations, as well as need volunteers on Christmas day to help out.  The best part?  They accept volunteers of all ages!  When I called to ask what we can do to help, they told me that young children are welcome to help out, provided they can carry a plate! If you cannot make it on Christmas day, they also accept food donations in advance.  Please contact them directly to see how you can help out.

In the lead up to Christmas, we will also try to bring some toys to children in need. This can be accomplished in a couple of ways. One idea that I had was to go shopping as a family and pick out toys or games that our children would like, but donate them to Toy Mountain, which only accepts new toys.  The other was to clean out our toy bins, and donate the toys and books that we don’t use any more to a shelter (the Community Information Centre of Ottawa has a searchable database to help find shelters), or church, or a thrift store.  Thrift stores, like Value Village take all sorts of donated goods, including toys, and help out lower income families by offering them for sale at low cost.

Finally, we will be gathering up our old snow suits to donate to the Snowsuit Fund, which will pass them on to children in need.  The children can help us with this task by gathering the pieces and matching up hats, mitts and boots, and then dropping them off with us.

December is a busy month, and I know that we are not going to be able to do all of the ideas that I listed above, but I hope to involve the children in some of the ones that we have planned.  I know that not everyone celebrates the holidays in the same way, or at the same time, but I hope these activities give you a starting off point if you are looking to help out in the community. Looking for other ideas? The Community Information Centre of Ottawa has compiled a GREAT list of events that are going on over the next few weeks in support of those in need, a list that highlights donations needed and how individuals can help.

Do you have any other ideas?

Krista is married to Willy and mom to a 5 year old son, Woo, and 4 year old daughter Goose. You can find her at Life in the Hutch or on Twitter @kgraydonald

The not so pretty parts of moving aboad

by Krista Our family recently marked the end of our third month living in India. I recently wrote here about how the move and transition went really smoothly for us. What I didn't talk about were the hard parts. I never expected a perfect transition. Things haven't always been easy on us though, and we've had to deal with some challenges that I didn't expect. The biggest of all of them was how out of sorts the lils were, and for how long. I knew that there would be a period where they would not be their normal happy selves, and possibly downright cranky. I just didn't expect it would extend for a couple of months, long after they had overcome the jet lag, finally gotten our shipment with their "stuff", settled in to school, and figured out the lay of the land. It's gotten much better, but they still have days where they are lashing out way more than they ever did back in Ottawa.

A big part of their behavioural change is likely due to the new rules that they a living under. We went from a fairly carefree existence, to one that is filled with new rules. We tried really hard to ensure that we only made rules where it was strictly necessary, and tried to introduce them gradually and intermittently, but it turns out that there are a number of new rules that couldn't fit into that approach. Rules like don't play on the road, cars won't stop for you. Don't walk on the sidewalk without holding a parent's hand, as the motorcycles and mopeds frequently drive on the sidewalk and aren't watching for you. Don't drink the water from the tap, it isn't safe. Don't touch any dogs, they are all wild and some are mean. Don't touch any bugs, some of them are nasty and we don't know which... It's a lot for little people to take in, and some times they rebel and don't listen at all, which is stressful.

Food is also a source of concern for us, more than we anticipated. We expected that they would rebel against some of the new foods and flavours, and they have, more than we thought they would. We also knew that finding safe foods for Woo, who is allergic to nuts, was going to be difficult, as peanuts are a staple here in many snack foods, and in the preparation of many foods. We are told to peanut oil is not a stable in urban kitchens (it is used much more in rural areas), but we still have to ask any time we are getting food for Woo. Sadly, allergies are not that common here, and we need to ask and explain several times before we are confident that he will be safe. This has made Woo feel very stigmatized, and he doesn't want to ever eat foods that we haven't prepared for him, and doesn't want to go to restaurants or to other people's houses to eat. We try to do as much advance work on this as we can, but struggle with this frequently.

We have also found it difficult to go out as a couple, without the littles. When we left Ottawa, we left our support network behind, and that network included our babysitters, both family and teenagers for hire. We're slowly starting to build a network, but have only used a sitter once. Building trust comes slowly for all of us, and it has come at the expense of time out without the lils, something I feel we need more of.

We are all a little lonely at times, including Woo and Goose. I just assumed that they would make friends at school, and that the social interaction there would help fill in some of the gaps. It does, but their area long periods of time when they are not in school, when they need to have someone to play with, when we are not enough company for each other. Getting together with friends in from school is possible, but requires more coordination than it did back home, as we have to ensure that we have the driver and that sitting in traffic is not going to eat up all our play time. We need to find more friends in our neighborhood, and I wish I had put more effort into this from the start.

Their loneliness is probably linked to the fact that they really miss home, especially Woo. I am shocked at how much they still talk about their friends and involve them in their pretend play. Woo frequently talks of wanting to go back home and of the things that he is missing at home. I don't want to. Discourage their connection with Ottawa, but I need to also foster a sense that Bangalore is home. It is clear that it is not for Woo, despite our efforts.

Finally, I underestimated just how much we would be a "tourist attraction". We very much stand out where ever we go, and the lils especially attract a lot of attention. While this was neat for them the first couple of times it happened, the novelty has firmly worn off. We want to be sure that we give our lils an opportunity to experience many new things here in India, and this means that we are out and about, exploring and walking all over. Unfortunately it also means that they are touched, pinched, picked up, and photographed or videotaped a lot. They have become very uncomfortable with this, and having us protect them was not enough, they were getting to the point where they didn't want to leave home anymore. Through trial and error, we realized that giving them the power to say whether they wanted to be touched or photographed really made a difference. We now ask people to ask the lils directly. Goose and Woo get to decide if they want to pose, or anything else. Mostly they say no, but occasionally it is yes, and they have fun with it.

Tourist attractions

Each day brings a new challenge, and a wealth of new experience.

Krista is married to Willy and mom to a 4 year old son, Woo, and 3 year old daughter, Goose. A capital family, they are currently living in Bangalore, India for a year.  You can find her at Life in the Hutch or on Twitter @kgraydonald

Moving abroad

by Krista Our family recently marked the end of our third month living in India. It has been quite the journey for us, especially for our little people. It continues to be an adventure, that both rewards and challenges our family on an ongoing basis. While it is in many ways just as we expected, there have also been a number of curves thrown our way. This move has certainly presented a number of instances where I have been extremely proud of my children and how well they have adapted, along with a few unanticipated parenting challenges.

We are really lucky, in that Woo, age four, and Goose, age three, never really balked at the idea of moving do far away from home. From the start, we made it seem like a great adventure to them. We made them feel like they were a part of the process by giving them "options" about what flights that we would take to get here, having them "help" us decide how long we were to live here, and where we might visit while we were on the other side of the world. They took to the idea of India when they felt that they were involved in the process. It helped to make the actual lead-up to, and the flights here pretty painless.

This involvement carried through packing for both the shipment and the airplane. They were each given some containers that they were allowed to pack on their own. I didn't try to help, nor did I vet what they put in them. Sure, some crazy stuff landed in there, like cloth books they haven't touched in years, or random drawings made on scrap paper, but it was deemed important for them to have, so it all came. Some things made me shake my head, like Woo's ice hockey shin pads. I was certain they would never get used, and almost broke my rule and suggest that he take them out. I would have been wrong, as he uses them often playing road hockey when he is the goalie (yes we all brought hockey sticks. We are Canadian, after all)!

They took really well to their new house, their rooms and their school, better than we anticipated. It helps that we were able to show them pictures of the places before we arrived, and that we have found ways to make the new places unique. Their rooms here have a small shared playroom between them, where they can meet in the morning and play if they want. There is even a patio that they are allowed to go on, WITHOUT ASKING. We don't have any regular old Canadian trees in our back yard, we have a PAPAYA tree. It doesn't matter that none of us like papaya, there is a tree in our yard, so it is COOL. The new school is big and there are lots of new people there, but there is a SWIMMING POOL. We have become the masters at selling it to the lils, and this has helped us greatly.

My monkeys, making monkey faces. Excited for the first day of school

They are now extremely good travellers. We have endured several long flights and many long drives (more than I anticipated). It is fairly slow going getting anywhere in Bangalore, or travelling by car to other cities. Driving, even on the highways, is very slow and there is much construction to cause snarls and slow you down even further. Woo and Goose have taken this all in stride. Even the car trips that are ten hours long!

Adapting to the new and wonderful creatures we meet has also been a pleasant surprise. They had no qualms about having geckos living in their rooms, aren't scared of the bugs that are the size of Goose's fist, and report a cobra sighting with a nonchalence that would be inspiring if it wasn't a wee bit bothersome. Both leapt at the chance to touch an elephant when it was offered, even though it was huge. They are also so enamoured with the monkeys that roam freely in the hills near our house that they want one as a pet. I was worried that some of these creatures would bother them, but presented them all (except the cobra) as new and interesting, and they were.

We are very proud of how well they have handled all the change they have faced and the culture-shock that comes with moving from a multi-cultural society where you are part of the visible majority to one where you are in the very small minority. They have been curious but respectful, and very eager to learn about all aspects of Indian culture and the children of other ethnicities that they meet at school. Language and accent have been the biggest barriers for them, but they have been able to catch on very quickly, and are now learning words in Hindi, Spanish, French, German, and Afrikaans!

Exploring at the zoo

What has gone well for us has gone really well, thankfully. We have experienced a number of rough patches too, and my next post will talk about those.

Krista is married to Willy and mom to a 4 year old son, Woo, and 3 year old daughter, Goose. A capital family, they are currently living in Bangalore, India for a year.  You can find her at Life in the Hutch or on Twitter @kgraydonald

A veggie bread they'll love

by Krista When I first saw this recipe posted on @refashionista's blog I knew I had to try it. It's a recipe for bread that makes use of your leftover veggies. It looked very simple, and her description really sold it. I knew that I would love it, but secretly hoped the lils would too, so that I could get a few more portions of vegetable into them.

I was so excited to try this recipe that I actually bought and cooked far too many beets for our family. Armed with the leftovers the next day, I asked the lils if they wanted to make beet bread. They jumped at the idea, and even started singing a song that sounds remarkably like the Batman tune... "na-na-na-na-na-na-na-naaaa beet bread!" They knew what was going into it, yet were still excited. It might be because I compared it favourably to banana bread, or it might have been that it look like this just prior to going in the oven:

They sampled within minutes of it coming out of the oven, and were instantly in love. I get asked at least weekly to make beet bread and willingly oblige, as I love it too. You can make the recipe with any leftover vegetables, but truth be told I've never tried!

@Refashionista's Beet Bread (slightly modified by me)

1 cup white flour 3/4 cup whole wheat flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp cinnamon 3/4 - 1 cup sugar 1/3 cup salted butter, softened 2 eggs 1 cup mashed/pureed cooked beet 1/3 cup milk

-preheat oven to 350

- stir together flours, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon. Set aside.

- beat together sugar, butter and eggs until light and fluffy.

- blend in beets.

- add dry ingredients and milk, alternating, in three additions. Be careful not to overbeat.

- pour into a greased and floured loaf pan and bake for 50-60 minutes (until a toothpick comes out dry when testing).

My lil helpers. Woo is singing the beet bread song!

Krista is married to Willy and mom to a 4 year old son, Woo, and 2.5 year old daughter, Goose. You can find her at Life in the Hutch or on Twitter @kgraydonald

Egg carton caterpillars and other bugs

by Krista In this spring of endless rain, I found myself looking for new and creative crafts for the lils that would not only occupy their time while they were creating them, but would be useful to them after the craft was completed. Now that the weather has gotten really hot, we find that we need to retreat inside for a few hours a day when it is really scorching to get a break from the heat. This is a craft that my lils enjoy both making and playing with, and one that they ask to make time and time again.

Supplies: egg carton (the cardboard variety) scissors stickers, markers and paint pipe cleaners

Cut the egg cartons in half, so you have two - six-egg-long "bugs". (or cut twelve - one-egg bugs!)

Let the lils decorate with the paint/markers/stickers

Poke holes in the sides and run the pipe cleaners through them. We cut the pipe cleaners in half and ran them right through the egg carton, so each pipe cleaner became two legs. Young children may require help threading them through.

Poke holes on the front for antennae, and feed pipe cleaners through there too.

Voila! You have bugs. The lils love them, and play with them until they fall apart.

Krista is married to Willy and mom to a 4 year old son, Woo, and 2.5 year old daughter, Goose. You can find her at Life in the Hutch or on Twitter @kgraydonald